a lesson on giving in

I've had to give in on a few things recently. Walking without waddling, having an unstained shirt over my belly, wearing pants that aren't elastic at the waist..... Things that a person doesn't think they'll ever give in on. Pregnancy is sort of a lesson on giving in. The amazing thing is that everything gets easier once you give up. I had been losing sleep, not able to get comfortable and fighting the fact that I have to pee every 2 hours. I would toss and turn, getting more upset that I'm tossing and turning. Last week, my midwife looked me straight in the eye, and told me to let go. Stop trying to sleep through the night; it's not going to happen. Embrace the fact that you will get up, and enjoy it. Just get up, stop fighting it. Since then, my sleep has been infinitely better. I still get up, I'm still tired in the morning, but I let go of the anger. It's to have that gone.

Today I had a little freak out/mild panic attack over my inability to find a parking spot while late for a work event. It was so unbelievable that I just started crying while talking to the parking attendant. He let me out of the ramp wihtout paying, but it made me feel like a complete fool. When did I beome the crazy pregnant lady? I really wasn't expecting that. It reminded me that I need to slow down. Take it easy. One day, one step, one breath at a time. If all of the yoga I've been practicing has taught me anything, it's that finding your breath and staying with it, just following it in and out, can be the most refreshing and centering experience. Next time, I have to remember to find my breath and calm the hell down prior to freaking out. Or maybe I should just stick to the bus.