Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Yes, I have not posted

I've been helping Dave with GusMonster instead of posting over here. Amazing how much fun you can have looking at 6 weeks of photos of your child. Especially the ones that make him look like a little alien.

Friday, April 25, 2008

last checkup

We had our last checkup with the midwives yesterday afternoon, and it was sad to say goodbye. It isn't really goodbye yet since we will most certainly see them again, but it was the last official visit.

Baby Gus has grown! He's five weeks and 2 days, and his weight was 10 pounds 4 ounces, and his length was 23 inches, a full 2 inches more than when he was born! His head was also an inch larger. The ladies were so happy to see him and they think he's doing great. I'm working on thank you gifts for the midwives, and I've only completed one so far. I will pick up the yarn for the next one hopefully this weekend. I've got a baby project I'm trying to fit in between, and it's going slowly.

It was such a cool experience getting to know the midwives. Yesterday while talking with Catherine, I realized that while she was in labor with her gorgeous little boy there were times in the hospital when it was just her husband and her alone in their room, coping with the labor. It made me so grateful that I was never alone, not for a minute. I had my
husband and one of the midwifes supporting me through the entire labor, long as it was. A few knitted gifts aren't really enough to say thank you for the hard work that the ladies did through my pregnancy, labor, birth, and post partum time. They were amazing, and I would highly recommend them to anyone who is interested in home birth. I will keep my fingers crossed that when Dave and I choose to have another baby, they'll still be working together and supporting birth at home.

Meanwhile: Dave and Gus have been working on something:

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

I've been bugging Dave to take more photos of Gus and I together.

This one is pretty cute.

I think one thing that would help me with this new parenting thing would be blocking www.babycenter.com from my computer. As much as I enjoyed the vegetable comparisons while I was pregnant, it's no longer helping. This week's update told me that my baby will begin to sleep longer stretches at a time, 3 - 4 hours perhaps. Lies, all lies! Gus isn't sleeping more than 2 hours at a time, and he chooses one hour during the night to be wide awake. Sometimes it's 4 - 5 am, sometimes it's 5 -6, but last night it was 3 - 4. I really don't appreciate that. He wakes up ready to play. He doesn't fuss or cry, just wants to look around and talk. The only thing he really doesn't want to do is go back to sleep, so all attempts to rock or sing lullabies or turn off lights are met with protest. He just wants to be awake. It's nights like last night: he didn't go down until 11, was up for a 1 am feeding, a 3 am feeding after which he stayed awake until 4:30 and ate again, then slept until 6 when he woke up to eat. At 7 I gave up trying to put him back down, and just got up and had breakfast. He fell asleep during breakfast, and I went back to bed with him until 9. If only it was a little more predictable, it would be easier to handle.

Or if only I didn't believe babycenter when they tell me he could be sleeping for 4-5 hours. Ha!

Meanwhile, the weather has been fantastic, and Dave has the spring greens started.
Soon we'll be pulling fresh spinach, arugula, and tat soi directly from our back yard! Even on no sleep, you have to love days like this.

Monday, April 21, 2008

easy Monday

We're taking it pretty easy here on Earth Day. Just glad the sun is shining.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

this month

This month, I have learned that newborns do, indeed, smile.
That it is possible to get poop on one's socks, and not be bothered by it.
That sleep deprivation really isn't that bad if you never get into a deep sleep.
The dog is more patient than I had ever imagined.
That the best time to knit is in the car, since I know how long I will have based on how far we're going.
That I don't miss being pregnant, and I hate all of my maternity clothes.
That my baby cannot mess his pants discreetly. He prefers to let the whole room know.
That there is a right and a wrong way to put on a cloth diaper, and I am more likely to do it wrong in the middle of the night.
That breastfeeding ain't so bad, once you get the hang of it.
Baths can be fun, once you're sharing them with a little monster who kicks his legs and splashes.

I think the most important thing I've learned, though, has more to do with Dave than it does with Gus. My love for Dave grew exponentially in the days after the birth, and it continues to grow. I feel so lucky to be married to a man who is so strong, so hard working, and so patient that he does all of the cooking, cleaning, gardening, and laundry without so much as a thought. He has absolutely put the needs of me and the baby before his own this past month, and I can't begin to tell him how grateful I am that he's been here to take care of us. I don't know how we would have got through this month without him, and I had no idea that I would love him more with each new day. I feel so blessed that we have a son and that we get to raise him together. This baby boy is going to have the best poppa in all the land, one who will teach him and show him worlds that no one else knows about. Thanks, Dave. You're amazing.

And so is this little butter bean.

Friday, April 18, 2008

what I haven't been doing

I spend a lot of time on the couch these days. Not as much as I did while I was pregnant, but there are days when it feels like Gus is nursing every 10 minute, and I'm totally pinned down. Fortunately, there isn't much that I have to get done, so I don't mind sitting down to feed the babe. I think about those who do this with a toddler, though, and I wonder how they manage it.

I finally saw Juno yesterday, and I'm in love with this song. I wanted to buy it from iTunes, but you have to buy the whole album and I really just wanted the song.

I've been knitting socks as a thank you for our midwives, and I have 2 and 1/2 socks complete. They are two different sizes, so I'm knitting a 3rd sock to match the 2nd one - which is the right size. I'm thinking about keeping the first one I knit and just redoing it to fit me. They're red with lots of stripes, and I have no photos because I don't feel like waking the baby up so I can go get the camera.

After I finish the socks, I'm going to get to work on the sheep mobile Dave and I planned to make. I have to knit at least 6 sheep, and I don't have a pattern or an idea how to do it. Once I'm finished with that, I want to make 2 more gifts for the other 2 midwives, and then another Sheldon for a pregnant friend. I also would like to knit up some pants for the baby, since none of the pants we have fit him yet. I think by the time I get to that, not only will it be too warm for pants, but he will probably be fitting in the ones that we have. I thought I would have a lot more time for knitting, but as it turns out, I never have two hands free at the same time.

I'm still trying to write about the labor - I want to remember the best parts of it. When I first tried to write about it, I got really sad when thinking about Paul and I haven't gone back to it. I know there are things in my memory that are fading that I would like to remember, so I'll try to get to it.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

pupper of the week

I know a dog who is very happy that it's spring.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

four weeks ago

We met our little boy. Can't believe it's already been a month.

Things change so fast.

like a baby

Gus slept like a baby last night, and I was so grateful. After a day of staying awake all day and no naps, I was grateful that even though he got up twice last night, he went right back down.

A few days ago, Dave and I went over to the Northern Sun and picked up some patches to sew on the onesies that we don't like. This one is pretty cute.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

pupper of the week

I apologize for the delay in pupper of the week postings. Things have been a little off schedule here, and I just haven't found the time. Irene has continued to weather this storm with us, and so far, she's holding up well. She'd like to have a little more sleep, but then - wouldn't we all?

Wednesday, April 9, 2008


Gus had his first trip to Al's Breakfast today. There were many folks there excited to meet him. At one point, after I had finished eating I had him laying in front of me on the counter. He scrunched up his face and put his hands over his eyes, as if he was suddenly having a bad dream. I can see how lying on the counter at Al's would seem like a nightmare. Thankfully we visited Al's often while I was pregnant, so i don't think the assault of sounds bothered him too much.

Things are looking up today. I'm planning to take Gus to an API knitting group this morning, and we're going to try out the new sling I picked up yesterday at Peapods. It's another Kangaroo Korner adjustable pouch, meaning we now own 3 of these fabulous slings. The one I got yesterday is a cotton pouch, and we also have a nylon and a fleece one. Looks like we're covered for all seasons. I think the nylon one will get the most use, especially by Dave - he wore Gus for a few hours yesterday as he dug in the garden. I think it's awesome that he can work in the garden and talk to and hold the baby at the same time. Plus Gus gets to be warm and outside, and that's pretty cool too.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

not fair

A friend was recently holding the baby when it was time to go. "It's not fair," she said to me, "you get to hold him all you want, and all I get is a few hours at a time."

What I held back from saying was this. Not fair? Hm. 5 years ago, I met a wonderful man, fell in love, got married, and bought a house together. We decided to have a family, and we planned when and how. I got pregnant and for 9 months, I got to carry this little boy and experienced all the joys of pregnancy. Along with that joy, I got stretchmarks like flames stretching up my belly, hips, and boobs. I got heartburn, hemorrhoids, and sleepless nights. I avoided all sorts of vices and took better care of myself than I have in years. After that hard work, I got 2 and a half days of labor, and gave birth in what was certainly the most painful experience of my life. The last year of my life has been devoted to meeting this child, and it has changed who I was, who I am, and who I will someday be. He's three weeks old today, and the only thing that is unfair is that I ever have to give him up to someone else. Even for a second. I earned my right to hold him and snuggle him and not every want to give him up. The only time I feel normal is when he's in my arms. I didn't know I would feel this complete, this whole, once I met my baby boy. But I do, and I'm in love with him and in love with this feeling.

So I'm sorry to everyone when I take him back after you've only had him for a few minutes. I know you think I'm over protective, and that I'm hovering. I know I will have to learn to let go. But not yet. He's still so new, and he was a part of me until just three weeks ago. We're still juts getting to know each other, and we've both got a lot to learn and a lot to teach. I earned this togetherness, and I'm not letting go. Not yet.

Monday, April 7, 2008

all this time

I want to have time to write, to process how I'm feeling. I want to take 5 minutes a day and write myself an email, just to check in. I thought I'd have the time to do that now, and had the baby sitting silently next to me on the couch. As he begins to hiccup, I realize that he's just spit up all over himself and the couch, and now I don't get my 5 minutes. Maybe tomorrow? There's no telling.

Friday, April 4, 2008

this life

This life made easier by the fact that I am a new momma to one of the most gorgeous babies on earth. I swear, it's not just me.
I am so in love with this boy.

2 posts

I have two unfinished posts sitting here, and no time to finish them. Gus demands food!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

the old man

Sometimes he looks like a very old man. As if he has all this wisdom, and he's just waiting to impart it on us.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

in like a lion

They say March comes in like a lion, and out like a lamb. I guess that doesn't always apply in Minnesota.

We got a few inches of snow yesterday, and though it's warm and feels like spring today, the yard is once more coated in white. I was wondering why the tulips hadn't shown up yet. I guess they know something I don't.

Winter can't last much longer. Soon enough,this little family needs to get out in the sunshine and explore the neighborhood. We don't mind a few more days chilling inside, though. Just staying in our pjs, taking it easy.