catching up

Oh, poor forgotten blog.

I have not had time for writing about what's going on in our life right now. I often think of how much I'd like to be recording it, but with the business, the baby, and the toddler, there's no time.

Here's the briefest of updates:

I feel like we've really hit our stride in the last few weeks. The first 2 months of Nova's life we all had it pretty tough. Dave was working constantly at the store, I was still getting the hang of having two-at-once (one of whom has a nasty habit of pouncing on the smaller one) and Gus was not sleeping. Then all of a sudden: big improvement. Gus's vocabulary exploded, and Nova got past those first 6 weeks of newborn-ness. Now that Gus is able to express himself, we're all a little less frustrated. He can make his desires known, he can use words when he's frustrated, and he can understand more when we aren't letting him have what it is he wants. His sleep patterns returned to what they were before the baby was born, and things have been great for Gus. We've moved past board books and he will now sit for most of an hour reading books to himself, or sitting while we read to him. Just today at the thrift store, I picked up 10 new books, and yesterday at the library, 5. He loves reading, he loves talking, he is amazing and I can't believe how much he's turned into a little boy in just a few short weeks. A quick list of some of the words Gus knows:

walk, dog, leash, outside, inside, up, down, eat, food, drink, milk, juice, water, potato, tomato, cheese, cottage cheese, sauce, fork, spoon, cup, plate, bowl, coffee, beer, ding, floor, wall, stove, hot, on, off, light, steps, couch, chair, baby, dinosaur, book, read, sit, nap, sleep, bottle, window, car, truck, go, bike, helicopter, airplane, honk, vroom, sneeze, slide, climb, sand box, throw, hit, no, cry, momma, poppa, blanket, tools, fix, break, wash, wipe, bath, boat, moon, head, hair, nose, mouth, teeth, brush, eyes, ears, fingers, hands, arms, elbow, belly, leg, knee, toes, foot, hug, run, kick, jump, pants, clothes, shirt, Gus, hat, socks, shoes, boots, potty, bed, train, ball, cookies, cheese, pizza, pasta, orange, banana, berries, apple, grapes, peas, flowers, frog, watering can, tree, cow, duck, goose, chicken, pig, sheep, turkey, goat, cat, dog, bird, fish, zebra, monkey, giraffe, elephant, fox, lion, squirrel, rhinoceros, bear,

the list could go on and on and on. He knows many more words than this, but I cannot list them all. So far as I know, that's pretty advanced for a little guy who is not quite 18 months. I continue to be impressed with how bright he is and how much he loves to talk. Dave often says that he'll miss the babbling, the one word sentences, or the constant monologue - often we're in the car and it's quiet and Gus will pipe up, "Cow. moo moo!" or the name of someone we've just seen or a place we've just been. I know that monologue will be internalized someday, and I'll miss knowing exactly what he's thinking about.

And then there's the bee. I haven't had any time to write about what an absolute angel she is. I took time this afternoon because I couldn't help it - we're moving Gus's nap to the afternoon, and I knew I'd be alone here today to try to get him to go down. Previously Dave and I were doing naptime together in the morning, so someone could watch her and the other could put Gus down. I knew in order to rock Gus for his nap, I'd have to have a sleeping baby. Maybe she's reading my mind. At 12:30, I put her in her bassinet. She stuck her thumb in her mouth and was asleep in just a few minutes. She's still sleeping now, and that's one the amazing things about her. I never would have hoped that at 2 months she's start sleeping through the night, but she does. I joked with many friends before she was born "we're going to teach this one to sleep" but we didn't have to teach her - she just did it. She sleeps so well, and she's quiet as a mouse. The other morning she even woke up with a dry diaper. When I was little and thought about what babies were like - this was it.

She rarely cries, even when she's had a cup of milk chucked at her head or someone has bit her foot (any guesses who did both of those things last week?) She loves to be held and will giggle and google at whoever is nearest. She's lovely to have in the store, and people will often be shopping for awhile or talking to me before they even realize I'm holding her. She's an absolute peanut, little angel, sleeps great and is simply lovely. I don't remember a lot of Gus's first few weeks. I don't think he was awful, but I know for certain that we heard him scream, and he brought me to tears more than once. Maybe that's just how it goes with your first, so when you get to number 2 you just get to enjoy it. I'm enjoying my time with her so much I can't even describe.

I believe others who have told me that their kids personalities were there right from the very start. Even though Gus is only 1 and a half, he has always been hard headed and determined. Some might call him stubborn and single minded. If I had to choose adjectives for Nova the would be happy, easy going, and joyful. We adore her right down to the tips of her toes, and my only regret is that I haven't written much about her early infancy. She's super fantastic, and that makes this part of our life even more rewarding and fun. Now back to cleaning records!

is big

My belly is gigantic. It may be taking over. I went and looked back at the archives. Remember last time? Apparently I felt just about the same about the belly taking over right about this point with Gus. It must just be a 38 week pregnant thing. (and yes, I know I'm not technically 38 weeks yet, but at this point - I'm rounding up).

is this what they call nesting?

I didn't really get the nesting thing when I was pregnant with Gus. The only thing I remember is the night before I went into labor I made apricot soup. Honestly, I don't like apricots and I'm not the biggest fan of soup, so it was a very strange thing to do. It didn't turn out that well, and I think it was tossed out a few weeks later because I never ate the left overs. This time, maybe I'm getting a little more of that nesting urge. See this?


Those are birth announcements. All ready to go, addressed and everything. All they need is a name and a date:

(I realize you can't see that. It says "________ was born ___________ to Laura and Dave"

Any day now....

35 weeks

The baby is the size of a honeydew melon this week, and oh how remiss I've been in comparing my unborn child to pieces of fruit. Little one is hiccuping right now, pushing the laptop off my belly. It reminds me of when I was pregnant with Gus and I would work from home - he hated the laptop sitting on top of him and would give me the hardest kicks to get rid of it. It must have given off a sound that I couldn't hear but he could. The little guy sure could deliver kicks to the ribcage.

This little one seems much more content to just hang out on my left side. The baby hasn't moved much since settling down there. There are plenty of kicks and punches, but not so much rolling over. Just sitting on the left, waiting for the right day to arrive. It's hard to believe that I'll cross the 36 week mark in just a few days. I've said it many times, I hope this one comes early. We've got most of the supplies for the birth ready, and that still feels a little unreal. Since we bought the store 3 weeks ago, we haven't had much time to breathe, let alone get the house ready for a newborn. Next week, Dave will be done with his full time job, and we'll have a chance to slow down and catch up just in time to welcome the little one. We're so excited and can't wait until the wee one arrives. That combined with my overwhelming desire to not be pregnant, and I'm starting to get a little impatient. I say often that it feels like I've been pregnant for years. I have in fact, been pregnant for nearly 2 years with a 6 month hiatus. I'm still trying to remember why I thought that was a good idea last fall. Alas, no more than 5 weeks to go - compared with how far I've already come it just doesn't seem like that much longer.

We're ready when you are, kid-o. Just don't go taking your time. If this pregnancy sees the dawn of July, I just might start to go a little wacky.

the good, and the not-so-good

the good: no one knows when I eat two bags of chips with my lunch
the not-so-good: still feeling guilty about two bags of chips

the good: felt all special when another pregnant lady said she was impressed I was on my bike today
the not-so-good: she has no idea that I had to stop and walk up a very, very small hill (I blame Gus, he's over 20 pounds!)

the good: 5 hours in the store today while the little guy plays at his grandma's house
the not-so-good: I worry that between the 10 minute morning nap and the serious molars coming in, he's being a menace.

the good: we are so ready for this baby
the not-so-good: except we still haven't agreed on a boy name.

the good: the weather is fantastic and beautiful
the not-so-good: I only have 2 pairs of pants that fit me, and absolutely no skirts or shorts

the good: I love owning this business. We've only been doing this for 3 weeks and already feel like it's one of the best decisions we've ever made
the not-so-good: dear lord, I am tiiiiiiiiiired

the good: long weekend! Dave is home on Monday! Family visiting! Yay!
the not-so-good: seriously, did I mention the tired?

All in all, the good absolutely outweighs the not-so-good. We are both so excited for the little baby to arrive, we just can't wait. I tell myself the little one will be early, though it would also be nice to have a few days once Dave's school year ends before the birth. Even still, I'm ready to be done with pregnancy and am eagerly anticipating sleepless nights, extra diapers, and spit up. Just to be able to stand up or roll over without help would be a step in the right direction.

It's going to be a fantastic summer.

the plum is in bloom

The plum tree started to bloom today.


This means many things - spring is officially here, and I'm celebration a blog-o-versary. Can I really have been randomly posting thoughts here for 2 years? That seems un-possible, but when I look back, it's true. My first post was April 27, 2007.



Dave and I planted the gorgeous plum on our first wedding anniversary. This year, it's 5 years, and we'll have two babies to celebrate with us.

Yay! Things couldn't be better.

coming up for air (but not really)

Dave and I and Gus have survived our first weekend as business owners! It was a busy, hectic, and fun weekend. And oh, what a lot of work. Gus did great being in the store, I think he's getting used to the idea. I'll have some helpers this week while we continue to figure that whole scene out. I'm hoping that we'll get some new, very fun toys that he gets to play with there, as well as being able to take breaks and walks when I've got someone watching the counter. May will be hard, Dave and I know that - but the hard part comes now when we actually have to run the store while Dave keeps his full time job.

Dave is amazing and diving into this project full force. He's already moving on the reorganization we had planned (I honestly didn't think that would happen for at least a few weeks, if not months) and he's putting new merchandise out at a rapid speed. I'm trying to learn as much as I can as fast as I can about the music, while also arranging meetings and working the business side of things. Fortunately the business side of things wasn't very well organized before, so most of the people I meet with and talk with are so surprised I have any clue what's going on that they're more than gracious if I take a little extra time or need a little bit more explanation. Mostly I know what I'm doing, so that feels good. The banking is behind us now, along with the initial set up and change over of business accounts.

It's scary and strange to be doing this right now, and were trying not to get overwhelmed. Dave is doing much better at that than I am. It's funny how things never go according to plan - we decided to have baby number 2 pretty quickly after Gus was born, but we had no idea this business would fall into our lap before the pregnancy was over. I know in a year (or maybe sooner) we'll look back at how well we coped, but looking forward right now is a little intimidating.

I'm so glad for all the support from friends and family that we've had. Nothing can beat people stopping by, coming in to say congratulations, offering to help in any way. And for those who are too far away or too busy to offer that, just the support and positive "You can do it!" thinking has totally helped us get through the red tape of the last 2 months. We're so glad that we've gotten this far. Just a few more weeks and we'll be walking to work together, one baby in the wagon, one in the sling. Working in the shop all day, coming home together at night. Now that's a dream come true.

kinda cute when they're little

A baby squirrel was hanging out in our front yard today. I've never seen one so small. The flower box he's standing on is maybe 4 or 5 inches across.

He was making some crazy squealing sounds. I don't know where he's gone now, but I'm afraid to let the dog out, lest she find him and try to eat him. While I don't like squirrels, I really don't want to deal with the dog killing one.


Also, he's kinda cute.

finally going forward!

We finally got news today that our bank loan has been approved and we can go forward with the purchase of our business. Yay! A million phone calls to make, enlisting friends to watch Gus while I get oriented on how to run the store, plus feeling like we finally know what's happening and planning for the next 3 months

For now phone calls - commercial insurance policy? check!
business accounts? check!
credit card processing? check!
business cards? check!
newspaper reporter? check!

It's all coming together, and we couldn't be happier. Yay!

Dave's springtime garden update

Seeds have been sown : springtime greens, radishes, broccoli. More to come soon!


Garlic is sprouting!


And the flowers are coming back. Here is the crocus I planted last year around this time when I was feeling blue. The tulips are popping up in places we'd forgotten, getting ready to surprise us with their colors, and lillies and sedums abound!

for the record

I am not oven, baby is not bun. Hate that phrase.

exhausted, and catching up

Gus has been sleeping through the night recently, which is nice - to say the very least. He goes down at 8 and gets up at 6. And while I worry and jump at every noise thinking it's going to wake him (last night the baby gate fell on the wood floor and the dog barked right next to his door) nothing does. It's proof to me that attachment parenting works and that letting a child cry by themselves alone in a room does not teach them anything other than that you won't respond to them no matter how upset they get. I'm grateful for the sleep, but I feel like getting more sleep actually makes me more tired during the day. I guess the human body can adapt, and mine has adapted to less sleep. Getting 8 solid hours now makes me groggy in the morning and sleepy during the day. I try not to nap, since that doesn't seem to make me feel more awake.

It's possibly just a stage of the pregnancy too. Now in my 7th month, I'm feeling so very pregnant. I feel like this pregnancy has been so much physically harder, though it could just be selective memories. My back aches at the end of the day (don't remember my back aching until 9 months last time) and just going up the stairs is exhausting. Of course I'm usually carrying a little guy up the stairs with me, one who squirms and looks around, tries to get down, wants to be picked back up again, then put back down. I keep reminding myself that last time around, I was sleeping 8 hours a night, taking it easy in the evening, and spending 8 hours at my office, mostly sitting. I don't get nearly as much time to rest, even though I'm home for most of the week.

I'm looking forward to this summer for so many reasons. Gus will hopefully learn to go down stairs instead of just up, so I can stop freaking out every time he gets to the top of a step, looks down, and smiles gleefully as if he's about to take a step. He will also hopefully learn to stop eating dirt. That's just a pain in the butt - we love playing outside, but it is inevitable that he will get a handful of dirt and shove it in his mouth just as you get to him. We go in once he does that, but he's still too little to understand consequences. I'm asking the doctor about it next week - how much dirt can really hurt him? Can I just let him eat it until he learns it doesn't taste good? I'm also excited because a lot of the house plants will go outside, and I can finally stop blockading him from half of the dining room. For more than 2 minutes, the dining chairs may be at the table, instead of laying on their sides.

I'm also really looking forward to those newborn days with the new little baby. Last time we had so much happening that we didn't get to just stare and awe and goo at the baby. Dave will be home most of the summer, and if things go as planned, he'll spend a lot of time taking Gus over to the store with him after the baby is born, and I can sit, relax, nurse, and - huzzah! set the baby down and walk away for 2 seconds. I'm looking forward to those days of carrying little baby in the sling again, just all that closeness and sweet baby near you. I know there will be night wakings again and all the other difficult things that go with little babies, but this time the learning curve isn't so steep, there isn't so much to figure out all at once.

ugh

It's been nearly a month since I've posted, and I'm feeling a little bad about that. There's been plenty to post about, Gus had his first birthday, we moved his blog to include his little sibling, the purchase of the store is still in process, we bought a new computer... and surprisingly I haven't had a lot of computer time.

I will say these last three days have been simply awful. Both Dave and I came down with a bug that involves gastrointestinal acrobatics the likes of which neither of us have seen for awhile. It's officially the first time I've tossed my cookies while pregnant, so I guess I could be grateful that I'm not one of those unluckies who spends their first and third trimester kneeling in front of the toilet. Now, though, I'm sitting still and getting fluids, as per midwife recommendation. I was having Braxton Hicks contractions this afternoon, a few more than one should like to have. Apparently dehydration can cause contractions, so I'm trying to sit still, rest, and get plenty to drink. Certainly not an easy thing for me to do, especially because extra fluids means extra trips to the bathroom, and a little one on the inside thinks it's particularly fun to poke toes into my bladder when it's full.

So here I sit, trying to enjoy the new computer and not feel frustrated that Dave - who is also under the weather - is doing the shopping, the Gus care, and cooking dinner. I'm not used to sitting still, but a threat like having to go into the hospital for preterm labor should be enough to keep me in my seat for the rest of the day. This pregnancy has been so much harder physically. I didn't expect it to be so different from the first one, but it has been. That's a story for another day. I'm off to see what kind of widgets I can download.

prediction

The older Indian woman behind the counter smiled as I approached. She pointed at my round belly and asked, "Are you carrying a girl?"

I shrugged and laughed a little at her question. "I don't know," I said, "I'll find out in a few months."

She laughed too, maybe a little embarrassed for asking. She glanced up at me. "It looks like it's a girl." She gave me a stern nod.

Perhaps it is. No feelings yet, but in just over 3 months we'll have our answer!

24 weeks

The little baby is almost a foot long now according to baby center, and if you can't picture a foot, you should try picturing an ear of corn. Maybe that will help? The little baby continues to kick like crazy, and Dave and I have officially and finally started our names list. I know, I know - I'm nearly 6 months pregnant and we just started the list. We've been busy, folks, and it's not like we haven't talked about names at all.... it's just that we hadn't got around to making a list yet. As with Gus, it is much easier for us to come up with boy names. I'll be renting some name books from the library and checking out the baby name voyager again soon.

please note

Please note: By my last post, I did not in any way mean to insinuate that my husband is actually being anything other than lovely. I meant only to tell you all that I am being completely unreasonable and overly weepy. In a word, pregnant. Things will improve this week. They must.

I saw our midwives today. The baby has been kicking like mad, which is fun and great to feel all the movements. The heart rate was around 150, I think officially 148, which is normal and perfect. I'm doing really well physically, no more sciatic nerve pain now that the baby has moved up and off my spine. I'm so glad for that. In general, just feeling a little tired and a little hungry. Clothes aren't fitting, and I'm wondering what I'll wear over the next four months (since all of my really big maternity clothes are long sleeved - last time I was done in March!) but I'm hoping that will simply work itself out. I'm glad to know that spring is just around the corner, and already the extra sunlight is affecting my mood. I love all these bright days, even if it's only 15 degrees right now. You can feel the snap in the air that means warmer weather is on the way. As Gus's birthday nears, I'm struck so often by the "I can't believe it's been a year" feeling. More on that another time. The little bear is napping, so I'm off to try to get a few rows of knitting done before he wakes up.

Oh - one last thought. Lost of people have been tsk tsking recently, now that I'm visibly pregnant. Comments like, "are you crazy?" and "oh, you're going to have your hands full" with "two under two" have been rampant among old and new friends. I mostly laugh it off, thinking that these aren't folks who spend a lot of time with Gus so they don't know how delightful he is and how he really is only fussy if he's sick or not feeling well. They don't know how great he's getting at entertaining himself, or how much he's started to enjoy exploring and playing with his toys and with other kids. Mostly, though, the one thing I want to tell them is something I heard from a mother of 12: One child can take all of your time; two can take no more. So there. Yes, we will have our hands full. But so what? We already do!

22 weeks

This is the graphic from zero to forty for this week:


and this is SOOOOO me today. Up down, highs lows... As amalah herself put it: "Blissfully happy and belly-rubbing one minute, wracked with anxiety and worry the next. Affectionately hoping your baby looks just like your partner one minute, hating their damn guts and ass face the next. Rawr."

The beginning of the third trimester is spitting distance from here. I may just make it.

bumpy road

This week was full of the blues. That pregnancy funk hit all of a sudden and I was in a terrible, terrible mood for a few days. Compounded with Gus not sleeping and a very IMPORTANT bank meeting, it just wasn't a winner of a week. I forgot about how those mood swings sometimes strike out of nowhere. I'm glad to say this is really the first and the worst it's been, and that I'm feeling much sunnier today (just in time for some snow!) I'm lucky to have Dave who takes Gus so I can take a long bath, knit, and even stops for falafel for me from my favorite place.

We're slowly plodding forward with the business purchase, the bank meeting was a positive one, and we should hear back today or tomorrow. Next step, getting a signed purchase agreement and renegotiating the lease. This is starting to feel like a real job!

dreams

I've been putting together a video of all of our little video clips over the past year for something to show on Gus's birthday in a few weeks. Watching all the little videos again has brought me back to those first months, and it's made me think about the birth of baby v. 2.0 a lot. I've been dreaming about the baby, last night I dreamt that I gave birth to triplets, two boys and a girl. Dave says I've mentioned a lot of dreams about multiples. I don't think I'm having more than one baby, but apparently my subconscious is.

I'm feeling now the way that I think I felt in November and December of 2007. At that time I was trying to spend as much "couple time" with Dave as possible, feeling that this was the end of our little family of 2. It wasn't a sad thing, just a different thing. I was getting used to the idea of there being 3 of us, and wanting to cherish the time left when it was just us. Now it's the same, but different. I'm trying to pack in as much "3 of us" time as possible, spending time with Gus and Dave and our little family before it grows again. I know that Gus won't remember this time, he's only 11 months, but I feel a little sorry that his time with just us was so short. Often that first child gets more time to be the only child, and his time is limited now. I know he'll love the little baby and be terribly interested in him or her. I have no idea what 15 month old Gus will be like, I just know that 4 months in the world of a child his age is quite a long time developmentally. I know there will be an adjustment period that will be hard for all of us, but honestly - there's no way it could be as hard as the first 3 months of Gus's life. I guess I'm feeling a little worried too. I already know who Gus is, I know what we've got: a charming little monster with a very happy disposition who -yes - doesn't sleep through the night, but for the most part is an absolute angel. He rarely has meltdowns, and I like to think of him as "determined" instead of stubborn. I know he'll continue to grow and change, but for the most part we know what this child is like. The next baby is a completely unknown, and therefore something to worry a bit about.

The baby is moving and kicking like crazy so far, so chances are that he/she is going to be the same kind of mover that Gus is. I know my ribs were sore at times from the severe kicks he delivered to me, and he wanted to be pushing up onto his feet right from the beginning. He's a very physical child, that's for sure, using his cement block head to knock us out in bed, or climbing everything from the coffee table to the book shelves. I think he's a lot like Dave, constantly in motion, never happy sitting still. I'm sure that won't translate well into sitting in a desk for 13 years, but we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, I'm going to take his hand and practice walking. He's getting pretty good at it.

22 weeks

I can't tell you honestly how big the little baby is this week. I missed the weekly update, or maybe I haven't got it yet. I'm 22 weeks, and feeling like I'm really pregnant all of a sudden. The baby is moving a ton, and I can even feel some of the bigger kicks on the outside. The baby always stops just as I get Dave over to feel the kicking, but I bet soon he'll be able to feel it too. I was just about to sit down and write a long post about how this is the easy part of pregnancy and mostly I feel really great, just big now, when the little one sitting next to me just threw up blueberries all over himself. So much for that delicious breakfast. Must clean up...

been here, done this

Dave and I spend a lot less time talking and pondering about this pregnancy than we did the first time around. On the one hand, I feel a little bad about that - like we're not taking the time or the interest we did in the first baby. On the other hand - I think that's just the nature of second children. You don't have as much time to sit around and think "Wow! I'm pregnant!" because you've already got one little monster to chase around. It's nice to finally feel the little baby kicking, that's making it a lot more real. Honestly, though, as I approach the 5 month mark on this pregnancy - we don't even have a list of names yet.

I keep saying there are too many balls in the air, and it's true. There's a lot to juggle right now. We're getting our stuff together to actually buy the record store, Gus is taking more steps every day, working on walking. The weather is improving, so we're spending more time outside, walking to the library and other places. I work, Dave works, and in the meantime we try to see friends and entertain once in awhile. That's a lot to keep going right now, especially with all the working that Dave is doing. It's hard to be home without him, and I'm looking forward to this long weekend when he will be around. Time is so relative. It seems like June is just a breath away and this second baby will be here in no time, but hearing from the store owners that they're setting a March 1 deadline feels like ages and ages from now. 2 and a half whole weeks! That's forever!

We can see where we're going, see that in a few months, we'll have big garden, two babies at home, and Dave will be leaving his job so that we can both work at the store full time. It's easy to see that big picture, but it's a challenge to see the little steps that have to take place to actually achieve that picture. One step at a time, one bridge to cross per day. There are so many times in my life where I've wished I could play it all in slow motion, and this is one of the only times that I wish I could just push the fast forward button and see how it all turns out.

don't tell me...

I know, I know, there have been very few posts recently. Things have been hard going for a little while, there are a lot of balls in the air right now.

In the meantime, Gus is thisclose to taking his first step. In fact, he took a little shuffle yesterday that could possibly be considered his first step, but I'm waiting to declare it until he actually lifts his foot. It's right around the corner, and this time I'm not exaggerating. Walking before 11 months. Yay!

so big

Can't believe how big he is some times. Just yesterday he was my itty bitty baby. Now he's pounding on the piano as he tears past on his way to the kitchen (and the dog's dishes). Slow down, little one!

news?

I'm 18 weeks pregnant and the baby is the size of a bell pepper. I'm also feeling under the weather and would like to curl up in bed with a book and some tea. Gus has other plans. Why is it that his plans almost never involve curling up under some blankets on a cold day?

In other news, Dave and I are doing our best to buy a local business. We've put in an offer and it looks like they've accepted it and the purchase agreement is in the draft stages. I can see it now - when the news people come to interview me after the aliens attack, under my name it will no longer say "local woman" but instead, "local business owner". Can't hardly believe it! Yay!

beer making

Yesterday, Dave bottled the nut brown ale that he made just before new years.

It's just shy of two cases, and we think it's going to be good.

Gus helped, as he always does. The warning on this bucked always cracks me up - not because it's funny that a baby can drown in a bucket, but because it's just a comical drawing. Here's Gus not following the warning.

And here he is using his tiptoes to look inside.

Tiptoes are cute.

remembering

One of my favorite books of poetry is "You Won't Remember This" by Michael Dennis Browne. I had Professor Browne for a summer poetry class I took at the U, and after taking it I bought his book. I still see him from time to time, shopping at the co-op, which I think is pretty neat.

Anyway, the book is poems about his kids, mostly, and the title poem "You Won't Remember This" has stayed with me. Here's the first part:


You lift your arms to your head,
which looks so dark, then turn
to lie on your side, the fluid
swilling in your abdomen.
The radiologist says:

"Anything dark is liquid,
anything white is muscle,
anything gray is bone."

These like the moon pictures,
wavering, grainy, the lens
lurching, and again you turn;
that shadowy bulb is your head,
those snow streaks your muscles,
those blurred tundras your bones.

you won't remember this

At ten days
you look lonely.
You seem between countries.

You look at me briefly,
not with interest.
You give no sign.

I toss you shreds of song
to where you lie,
down in the cradle canyon,
looking up.

Remote to you my moon
drifts over the rim

You lie,
looking up.

you won't remember this

Today your first injection,
and tonight you cry, your thigh
throbbing. Now you have fallen
asleep on my left shoulder,
lying across my heart.

you won't remember this

You don't want to go
to day care today; you weep,
you cling to my leg,
you roll your eyes:
oh no oh no; all the sorrows
of my mother in my daughter.

you won't remember this

I hear a moaning from upstairs;
slowly you descend--whooo whooo whooo --
over your head the nibbled blanket;
on the last tread trip, topple
--oops! oops! --
and I gather up my ghost.

you won't remember this



It's a phrase and a poem that often comes to mind in this first year with Gus and now with this second pregnancy. So much of our early lives is gone to our memories, but so much of it is formative, I think. Attitudes about food, about life, and love - all these feelings and learning about life are being formed now, while he's only so wee.

Last night, standing in the kitchen. He'd kicked out of his pants and his shirt was half undone. Standing, throwing the tupperware over his head, I couldn't help by think " you won't remember this." Oh, but I will sweet one. It's moments like these I hope I never forget.

so cold

Normally, I'm not one to complain about the cold. Really - I like winter and I like living in Minnesota in the cold months. I get annoyed when long time residents complain about the weather and generally think - if you don't like the cold, then move. But this? Well this is just something else.


That's right, it says "Pipe-rupturing, battery-draining cold" and above, it says today's high will be -5 , and will feel like -30. That's just outright insane.

This column tells me today is the coldest morning in the twin cities since January 30, 2004, which blows my mind a little bit. 5 years ago we were living in the little house without a furnace, and Dave was leaving for work at 6 am. I don't remember it being this cold, so the heat of new love must have been keeping us warm.

The thermometer on our porch only goes down to -10. This morning it looked like this:

Yowza. Don't worry. Gus and I are still planning to walk to our class this afternoon. It'll be warmer by 1:00, right?

16 weeks

I know, this post needs a photo. I do not have one. Rest assured that I am indeed showing already, and I have not felt the baby move yet. According to babycenter.com, the little one is the size of an avocado this week. I was shocked to weigh myself at the gym (yay me! I went to the gym!) last night and find out that I have not gained any weight. Apparently my belly is sticking out, I feel bloated and huge, and I weigh the exact same as I did 10 weeks ago. Pregnancy is weird.

I was looking back recently, seeing what I posted about this early stage of pregnancy with Gus. I really enjoyed reading those old posts, and I'm looking forward to reading more. So far it seems as if things are just about the same as far as how I'm feeling and what I'm doing. A little less conscious of what I eat, a little more lax about the whole working out thing, but for the most part the pregnancies are similar so far.

In other news, it was a busy weekend. Gus went to both an art opening and an art museum, yet we did not bring the cameras At the museum he saw a string quartet, which was pretty neat. He got a visit from his grand-dad, and got to eat a delicious blueberry pancake at Al's (he gets to do that most weekends). We both got to see our midwives and that's always fun. They love seeing Gus, and I appreciate that they come to me this time around. Not exactly relaxing, but definitely a lot of fun.

books

I read a lot in 2008. For all those parenting books that say it will be many years before you finish a book again, I say ppppppptbtt. After Gus was a few months old, it was impossible to knit while nursing. There's a lot of nursing...so what was I supposed to do?

All the Fishes Come Home To Roost by Rachel Manjia Brown was by far my favorite book this year. I may have technically read it in 2007, but lordy, this book was good.

I Was Told There'd be Cake by Sloane Crosley was also a favorite. It's rare for me to read nonfiction, but this book was hilarious and fun to read.

Also this year, I read the Narnia books again, The Old Man and the Sea (Hemingway), The Grapes of Wrath (Steinbeck), The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea (Mishimia), Pigs in Heaven (Kingsolver), and a few random things from the library that aren't immediately coming to mind. It was nice to check some big ones off the list, so I can no longer claim that despite the English degree I've never read Hemingway or Steinbeck. I still find that shocking how little you have to read to get a degree in literature, but honestly I think the University is so concerned with getting you out that they don't care how you do it. They're cranking out those liberal arts degrees, sending us all out into the world totally equipped to diagram a sentence and write a book report.

vegetables

This is more fun that babycenter. And has different vegetables. This week - the baby is the size of a beefsteak tomato! Who knew?

glamour shot

Mo, the bad cat.

knitting

There was lots of knitting in 2008, but unfortunately since I kept up neither my ravelry page or my blog, I can't name all of the things. I know that there were 6 pairs of picky pants, but I only know that because I see them in the morning when I get the baby dressed. There were untold hats and mittens, and no new scarves this year, though we very much need some new scarves. I finished this hat yesterday:
and let me tell you, I think it is hilarious. I have a box full of old acrylic yarn that I picked up at a garage sale last year or maybe the year before. Every now and again when I need something small, I pull that box of acrylic out, and I almost always love the results. This hat is ridiculous, and just what Gus needed (those are the newest picky pants in the photo too).

So my 2008 knitting round up isn't very impressive. I started a big quilt project too, but I clearly haven't photographed that yet either. Maybe 2009 will be a better year for documenting my projects -but from the looks of that little pregnancy counter on the sidebar, I wouldn't count on it.

things you maybe didn't know about me

1. I hate getting out of the shower. It sometimes takes me a few minutes to talk myself into turning off the water and stepping into the bathroom. Especially during the winter.

2. I learned to knit 8 years ago, and I have only owned 1 tape measure and 1 darning needle.

3. I have made many boxes of macaroni & cheese in my life, and I still read the instructions every time.

4. I think people who buy one-ply toilet paper are really missing out on the finer things in life.

5. Wearing sunglasses makes me feel like Joe Cool. My shirt usually has snot on it, my socks frequently don't match and it's been years since I've work earrings, but putting on sunglasses suddenly makes me feel like I'm totally put together.