Hey you

You make me short of breath.
You make my tummy gurgle.
You make me burp a lot.
You make my nose run.
You make my nose stuffed up.
You give me nosebleeds.
You make me have to pee. Constantly.
You make me want to eat Doritos for the first time in a decade.
And Fritos.
You make my clothes tight.
You make pajamas and sweat pants the only thing I want to wear.
You make biking to the gym a chore.
You make napping even better than it already was.
You make standing up for over an hour very difficult.
You make it hard to sleep.

With all these things that you're doing to me, don't you want to give me just a little kick? Just a tiny one? Come on, you've been around for 17.6 weeks, you've got to want to kick me at this point. ... ... No? Please? Anyone there?

Guess I'll have to keep waiting. And I totally thought I'd feel the first movements at the beginning of the 16th week. If this kid makes me wait until 20, I'm going to be mad. I might just have another bag of doritos.