dreams

I've been putting together a video of all of our little video clips over the past year for something to show on Gus's birthday in a few weeks. Watching all the little videos again has brought me back to those first months, and it's made me think about the birth of baby v. 2.0 a lot. I've been dreaming about the baby, last night I dreamt that I gave birth to triplets, two boys and a girl. Dave says I've mentioned a lot of dreams about multiples. I don't think I'm having more than one baby, but apparently my subconscious is.

I'm feeling now the way that I think I felt in November and December of 2007. At that time I was trying to spend as much "couple time" with Dave as possible, feeling that this was the end of our little family of 2. It wasn't a sad thing, just a different thing. I was getting used to the idea of there being 3 of us, and wanting to cherish the time left when it was just us. Now it's the same, but different. I'm trying to pack in as much "3 of us" time as possible, spending time with Gus and Dave and our little family before it grows again. I know that Gus won't remember this time, he's only 11 months, but I feel a little sorry that his time with just us was so short. Often that first child gets more time to be the only child, and his time is limited now. I know he'll love the little baby and be terribly interested in him or her. I have no idea what 15 month old Gus will be like, I just know that 4 months in the world of a child his age is quite a long time developmentally. I know there will be an adjustment period that will be hard for all of us, but honestly - there's no way it could be as hard as the first 3 months of Gus's life. I guess I'm feeling a little worried too. I already know who Gus is, I know what we've got: a charming little monster with a very happy disposition who -yes - doesn't sleep through the night, but for the most part is an absolute angel. He rarely has meltdowns, and I like to think of him as "determined" instead of stubborn. I know he'll continue to grow and change, but for the most part we know what this child is like. The next baby is a completely unknown, and therefore something to worry a bit about.

The baby is moving and kicking like crazy so far, so chances are that he/she is going to be the same kind of mover that Gus is. I know my ribs were sore at times from the severe kicks he delivered to me, and he wanted to be pushing up onto his feet right from the beginning. He's a very physical child, that's for sure, using his cement block head to knock us out in bed, or climbing everything from the coffee table to the book shelves. I think he's a lot like Dave, constantly in motion, never happy sitting still. I'm sure that won't translate well into sitting in a desk for 13 years, but we'll have to cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, I'm going to take his hand and practice walking. He's getting pretty good at it.