my new favorite thing

While I don't consider myself much of a blog reader, there are a handful that I get to daily. I use google reader, so I don't go clicking around the internet, trying to stumble on something interesting. Recently, though, I've clicked accidentally onto a few food and recipe sites and been delighted. I normally stick to epicurious when I'm looking for a recipe, but I think I will break my habit starting now.

I've been reading 101cookbooks, and it is fabulous. I can't say whether my favorite thing is the photos or the introductions to the recipes or how simple the recipes are themselves. It has tons of vegetarian options, and while I haven't been doing much of the cooking recently, I hope get get around to some of these soon. The split pea soup, the simple butternut squash tart, and the instructions on how to make gnocci like an italian grandmother are all at the top of my list.

neat

Last night, Dave and I had our 3rd (4th?) visit with our home birth midwives.  It was super fun.  We talked for awhile about food and emotions and stuff, and then they listened to the heartbeat (solid 160, while the baby was active) and did massage and then a muscle loosening technique with a rebozo scarf.  Clare told us about midwives in the Yucatan who didn't understand when they were asked what they did with a Breech birth.  They had to find a very old midwife who had seen a baby present feet first.  Apparently, it just never happens.  They do this rebozo technique, and it is possibly the reason that the babies are in a good birth position.  It was fun, whatever the reason.  My belly is slowly shaken from side to side, and it's meant to relax involuntary muscles and ligaments.  If those can be loose, the baby will automatically get into the best position for birth.

I'm 25 weeks, and feel like it's time to get down to business.  We won't see these midwives again this year, but starting in January, we'll see them every 2 weeks.  I can't believe how soon that is, that the new year is just around the corner.  I've got the glucose challenge test next Friday, but I'm not freaked out about that.  I think my blood sugar will be fine.  I've continued to eat an extremely healthy diet (with the occasional slip up of potato chips or cookies).  For the most part, every meal we eat was organic, made of whole foods, and cooked at home.  The only processed, pre-packaged food I consistently eat is refried beans, and I don't think I can give them up.  Besides, there's protein!  I can't go wrong!

It's going to be a cold weekend in our house, the furnace has officially been marked as unsafe.  We've got space heaters, but it was 60 degrees when I left this morning and it's not safe to leave the heaters running.  I won't be home until 4, and then we'll get it warmed up again.  At least the sun came out today, so that'll keep the house a little warmer.  I think I'll be living in my bathroom and sweatpants this weekend.  Which is pretty much what I do every weekend, furnace or no furnace.  

giving thanks it's over

Dave and I hosted the big meal this past week, and along with it hosted family members and a lot of drama. It's the first time in a long time that I've been thankful it's Monday.

Our internet connection at home is iffy right now, so I will try to get some updates in while I'm at work this week. The baby has reached the length of an ear of corn, and was kicking me enthusiastically through the weekend. Perhaps it was the sugar rush from all of the pie, or perhaps I'm just finally starting to notice it daily - either way, I''m enjoying the fact that I can finally feel the baby move around.

It's my 24th week of pregnancy, and it's hard to believe that the third trimester is right around the corner. We have begun sharing our home birth plan with some family members and that's been okay so far. We haven't tacked the difficult ones yet. I think I might start attending the childbirth collective education nights - it would be good to connect to some people who have chosen the same path and come out safely on the other side.

failure

Apparently stores don't stock swimsuits in the middle of November. Who knew?

I ended up purchasing a maternity suit online. I'm not happy with it, but they have a good return policy and it should be here soon. I chose this one, and while I don't really like it or think it will be flattering, I can at least be grateful that it's black and my belly will not be hanging out. Tankinis for pregnant people? No thanks.

Thanksgiving is this Thursday and Dave and I are getting ready for family to visit and a big meal to cook. As I think I've mentioned before, we cook nearly everything from scratch, and buy as much local and organic food as we can. I'm a little sad that Dave hasn't had time to post to his blog about it because he's been super excited at home. The menu is shaping up, and the turkey is in the fridge. I wish I could link to the farm we got it from, but the name is escaping me right now.

I've also picked out a new camera, so hopefully that will mean more, clearer pictures. I know I'm overdue for a belly photo (23 weeks! woot!) and I hope to get around to it this week. There will certainly be photos on Thanksgiving, so maybe I'll post a few of those.

22 weeks and ready for a nap

I've reached 22 weeks along, and babycenter.com wants me to know that the baby is the length of a spaghetti squash. Because the length of a spaghetti squash is something that I readily understand and think about. They may be running out of vegetables.

I meant to post these photos earlier. Here are the ultrasound photos from last week!

Looking straight at the baby's face and belly.










The baby on its knees, facing down.








On its back again, with face in profile.








The ultrasound was a little strange, but all told it went fine. The baby is of average size, and there were no abnormalities with the heart or brain or anything else that they look at during the procedure. Right toward the end, the nurse called in some strange doctor-man, saying "I'm calling the doctor now. He reads the results" This threw both Dave and I back a little bit, since we didn't know in advance that we would be seeing a doctor. He came in and shook my hand, muttered something about "looks good" and then asked if I had any questions. I didn't, other than why he was in the room. I equate this to when the dentist comes in and looks at your teeth after the hygienist spends 30 minutes cleaning them. I think it's just to be sure that you feel like a real professional is working behind the scenes, and to ensure that the visit costs the insurance company the $1200 per minute fee that the doctor charges. Just one more reason I'm feeling confident in our homebirth plan. It's pretty rare for a stranger to walk in during the birth when you're in your home with the midwives and support people that you've chosen.

Speaking of homebirth midwives, Dave and I met with Gail and Clare again last week. It was fun to see them, and I'm glad to begin the process of getting to know them. We covered a lot of ground in the hour we spent with them, but we honestly didn't talk much about the birth. We talked about diet and exercise, my health history, and they listened for the baby's heartbeat using the fetoscope. Unfortunately, they weren't able to pick it up, but they were able to hear all sorts of kicks and punches coming from the baby. The ultrasound revealed the the placenta is anterior, making it more difficult to hear the heartbeat and also making it a little more difficult for me to feel those first kicks. I am feeling them pretty regularly now, and Dave got lucky and felt one through my belly the other night.

I wish I was a little better at keeping up this blog. If I updated daily, it would look more like this:
Everything is great! I feel great! Pregnancy is fun! Whee!!
Dear lord, someone get me a pillow and a blanket, I need a nap.
Pregnancy rocks! I rock at being pregnant! Woo hoo!
Is that the time? 7:30 pm? Geez, I better hit the hay I need to get 12 hours of sleep.

Unfortunately, I tend to only post when I'm not on those emotional and physical highs, so it sounds all down and sad and poor me. When I look back over the past 2 months, though, things have been wonderful overall. Just in the last week have I hit the good day/bad day dynamic, and it's taking some time to get used to. I'm exhausted again, and not sleeping through the night. I haven't had time to fit my naps in, and when I do they just make me more tired instead of more rested. I know that the third trimester will bring some exhaustion with it, but I'm not there yet. I feel a little cheated that I didn't get the full second trimester full of energy (4 more weeks!)

I've been meaning to take a photo of me from the side - I've started visibly showing in the last few weeks, and I'm loving that. My weight gain is still hovering around 10 pounds total so far, but my belly is poking out over my pants, and I'm having a hard time keeping it covered. It's definitely time to move into maternity pants, but I don't feel like shopping or going to a store at all. One thing I definitely need to buy is a maternity swimsuit. I'm still swimming laps 3 times a week, and even though the suit I have is a few sizes bigger than usual, it is no longer doing the job. My internet searches have turned up nothing other than tankinis, a style that I do not want to swim laps in. You'd think with all of the advice to swim while pregnant, someone would make a decent swimsuit that covers your belly but doesn't come down to your knees (why do they put skirts on swimsuits? why?). I have to make it a priority to find one soon, since it's become uncomfortable to swim in the one I've got, and I don't want to get out of the habit of doing my laps every week.

In other non-pregnancy news, we're getting excited for Thanksgiving. I can't believe how quickly November has blown by, the holiday is next week already! My mom and brother are coming to share the meal with us, and hopefully my mother and sister-in law as well. My dad and step-mom are flying in on Friday, so they'll miss the meal but will still see us. This is the third year that we've hosted the holiday, and we have a great time doing it. We cook an entirely organic meal, using as much locally grown food as we are able. Even though we're vegetarian, we cook a turkey for everyone else and rumor has it that it's pretty delicious. We insist on a free-range, organic bird, something that our family members wouldn't buy for themselves. I think its deliciousness is partially due to that and partially due to the fact that Dave is a fantastic cook. We always invite friends for wine and pie after dinner, and hopefully we'll have some people show up again this year. I'm doing apple, pecan, and pumpkin pies again so if that's not enough to draw them in, I don't know what would be. I'm glad that our families are coming again this year, we weren't sure if we would just be cooking for 2 this time.

I think it's time for me to go find that nap that I've been raving about. Hopefully I can take off from work a little early and sleep the afternoon away.

the more you know

We're planning a home birth. And I'm really, really excited.

I know that we were leaning this direction, but meeting our new home birth midwives, Gail and Clare, really tipped the scales. We met with them a week ago, and they were just lovely. They spent an hour and a half with us, just talking about who we are, how we feel about birth, and what our goals are. The explained their work and their training, and we felt extremely comfortable with them.

That was the easy part. Now comes the more difficult stuff - telling family. Here's how I plan to phrase it:

We're planning a home birth! We are working with two certified midwives (one a certified nurse who has years of hospital birth experience, and one a traditional midwife who has been doing home births for almost 25 years). We have our back-up plan in place, and in case of any difficulty or changes, we will transport to Abbott Northwestern, an 5-10 minute drive from our house. There are many reasons that a woman will transport during labor, the most common being exhaustion and dehydration. We're planning to avoid these two things, but we know that we might end up in the hospital either way. If we do go, the midwives come with us. We also know that if the baby's vital signs or my vital signs look at all like they are in trouble, we will go to the hospital. We're not stupid, and we're not willing to put my life or the baby's life in danger.

There are a number of reasons that we're choosing this path, but they're personal and I don't want to go into them. If you have serious concerns about my safety or the baby's safety, please come with me to one of our prenatal appointments, meet the midwives, and talk to them yourself. We've done our research, we've talked to references, and we are excited and committed to this plan.

So there. I'm not sure how that will go. I had planned to lie to family, telling them that I'm going to deliver in the hospital. But you know what? I'm going to have to start putting my foot down. It's about time. And it seems good to start doing that now, before the baby is involved - because I think there will be a lot of things that I'm going to want to put my foot down about once the kid is actually here.

So I've got to find a way to tell them, and find a way to have them be okay with it. Dave and I had a long talk last night, and he kept repeating that I'm not in charge of how anyone else feels, I'm only in charge of how I feel. It's hard, and scary to think that my family might resent me, or disapprove, but this just feels like the right path. I've said before that I feel like my family disapproves of me in general, they think I'm just a little too far out of the mainstream. Even though I don't believe that I am - not watching television and eating organic, locally grown food does not make you a crazy person. This, however, is stepping way out of the mainstream, and I understand that.

I truly believe that one of the reasons that the United States has seen an increase in maternal mortality and a fairly high infant mortality rate at birth has more to do with the intervention of medical science than it does the lack of it. Bringing birth into the hospitals, increasing rates of induction, Cesarean, and medical intervention have all been contributing factors. I want to be part of that small group who fights back by taking the birth of my child into my own hands, and trusting that two experienced women can get us through without those interventions. Reading articles like this one and this one prove to me that it is the right thing for me to do. Learning about the hormones that are released during birth and knowing all of the ways that hospitals go about stopping that natural process, I want to try to do it this way.

Last night, Dave and I attended a meeting of the Minnesota childbirth collective. They do a series of parent topic nights, and it was neat to connect with other parents and a bunch of doulas. The topic for last night was preparing your mind and body for birth. There were a couple snippets of information that we gleaned that I found particularly helpful. The doula Karen covered a number of exercises that can be done in advance to prepare and tone the muscles groups needed during birth. Most important to me was squatting. While it's well known by many that women in other cultures squat during birth, I never considered the reasons why. To name a few, squatting shortens the birth canal, uses gravity to get the baby out, and opens the pelvis as wide as it will go. It makes sense to practice this ahead of time, especially as the weight of the baby in your belly makes balance a little more difficult.

Karen also gave a long talk about food and food choices, something that Dave and I have learned a lot about and spent a lot of time discussing. The thing that hit home, though, is hearing again how high the protein needs are for a pregnant woman. They talked about the Brewer Diet and the research Dr. Tom Brewer did during his lifetime. Sufficient levels of protein can prevent pre-eclampsia, a scary and often dangerous condition. Being a vegetarian, we've been worried that I wasn't getting enough protein, even though my blood levels were fine at 8 weeks (the last time we had lab work done). After meeting with the home birth midwives, I began to add hemp protein powder to my fruit shakes every day. But now, after looking through the Brewer diet, I'm going to try to do more. I plan to eat nuts every day, either peanuts or almonds. Peanut butter at breakfast, and a hard boiled egg. We will keep adding beans into means wherever we can, but I will try to snack on things like black bean and fava bean salads. I think these small changes will make a world of differences.

The last part of the evening that was sort of skipped over because of time, was practicing relaxation techniques with your birth partner. It makes sense that one would want to practice these things ahead of time, learning how to read each other's cues and be comfortable saying what is working and what isn't. Dave and I didn't get a chance to talk about this at all last night, but I'm hoping we will soon. Karen urged us to consider how to deal with a woman in labor who doesn't want to be touched or spoken to. What are you left with? Eye contact, music, scents, sounds - there are a ton of ways to continue to be helpful and supportive, even if that doesn't involve talking and touching. One of the most insightful things they said is that when you invite someone to your birth, you want to be sure you talk to them in advance about the possibility that you may want them to leave. Let them know that they shouldn't be offended, it's not personal, it's just the way that you feel right now, and feelings are all over the place during birth.

This was really our first forage into birthing classes, and while it was not the traditional hospital Lamaze class, I found it very valuable. I think I'll go back to the parent topic nights, to get to know people better and to connect with other pregnant couples. It was neat to go around the room and hear how and where other people planned to deliver (or had delivered) their babies. It's cool to be able to tell a room full of people that you're planning a home birth, and feel supported and proud of your decision.

well

You can't really beat that for a job well done on Saturday morning.

I've been avoiding baking a pie for 2 weeks, since Dave brought home a huge bag of home grown apples from a coworker. My excuses? I'm pregnant. I'm tired. I'm sick. It's Tuesday. Pretty much anything I could think of. I just didn't really feel like baking.

Until today. And I must say, I think I did a pretty spectacular job.