While I was on maternity leave, I wasn't sure that changing jobs this spring was the right thing to do. Now that it's all said and done, though, I couldn't be happier. These last few weeks at the old job will be hard, especially since I'm training in the evenings, but today I got my first taste of what the new job will actually be like.
It's going to be great. I'm the only employee, so I can bring baby bear to work with me:
Plus, the office is in a storefront, next to a coffee shop and across from a yarn store. You can't beat that! And even better than bringing the baby to work and having him sleep most of the time - there's a huge ceiling fan, which he loves.
I know the days where he'll be completely occupied by a ceiling fan are few, so I'm grateful for them now.
I think it's all gonna work out in the end. Just have to get Dave healthy and get past this little bump, right? By July, I'll be working 3 days a week, and gearing up for our trip back east. If we take it one day at a time, I think we might just make it.
I fell asleep standing up today. Just for a second really. The elevator in my office building is ancient, and if you press the button at the same time as someone else, you could be waiting the better part of 10 minutes to get on. I leaned my head back against the wall and let my laptop bag sink to the floor. The next thing I knew, I was blinking awake to the soft ding as the car arrived. I pulled my sunglasses down, even though I was still indoors.
The ladies I work with cluck at me, "Oh, she's a new mom, she must be so tired." Affectionate and taunting at the same time. "You have no idea" I want to say, but don't have the energy to go into how awful this week has been.
Because I am wonder woman and think I can do everything, I didn't just return to my job this week. No no, I agreed to start training for my new job in the evenings. My day job kept me away for 7 hours each day, plus 2 or 3 hours in the evening on Tuesday and Thursday. That's not the worst part, though. Dave taking over at home coincided with a mysterious illness, which we now know to be mono. He has zero energy, and while the baby bear is missing me - the one thing that calms him is walking around. Poor Dave barely has the energy to stand, let alone pace the floors trying to calm master AP. Add to that an elbow injury, and for the last two days he can barely hold the kid at all.
The saying goes that the Lord won't hand you anything that you're not able to handle, but more and more I think that's crap. Each time we feel like our heads are above water, that there's finally some sunshine around the corner, life hands us one more sucker punch to the gut, leaving us gasping for air. Right now I've got my fingers crossed hoping that at some point in my past I had mono and I'm immune. Within a few weeks we'll find out, and as Dave's symptoms begin to subside (hopefully soon) mine may start to bring me down.
"This isn't the way it's supposed to be" I keep thinking to myself, and while I suppose that's the bargaining stage of grief, it feels more like anger. I wouldn't trade anything for the time with Gus that we've had - he's an amazing child, mostly cheerful all the time and so much fun to be around. But man, this is hard. Ugh. At least it's Friday. There's some peace on the horizon.
She curls up next to him for nap time, always keeping a safe distance. The family dog has suffered, it's true - but I think she likes the baby just as much as we do. Irene can adapt, she just does so reluctantly.
I have a small knitting problem. It involves brooklyn tweed. You see, every time he posts a new project, I fall completely in love with it and decide to knit it. Just recently, he posted the knitted garter stitch blanket. Even though I have at least 3 projects to finish before I will allow myself to start something new, I'm already picturing how this will keep us warm all winter long.
It was his pi shawl blanket that got me started on my own pi shawl, and I had originally planned to finish this shawl and start on a blanket just like his. The knitting was tricky though, and after 3 weeks I'm still 18 rows from the end. With each row 500+ stitches in lace weight, it takes me a good half hour to finish just one. I wanted to finish it by the weekend, though, so I could fix up the sweater that I made for Dave. He was supposed to get it for his birthday, and I actually finished sewing it all up the day prior. He tried it on, and it was a good 10 inches too long. I've got to rip back the fronts and back and reshape the armholes, something I promised would be complete by Fathers day. After that I want to do EZ's BSJ for my little guy, inspired again by brooklyn tweed - here.
Every garment he knits is so freaking gorgeous, that the problem isn't just in that I want to knit everything he posts. The problem is that he is a much more advanced knitter than I am, so while I get all excited and think each new project is the perfect project for me, I need to step back and realize - this guy has a talent I will never have.
Alas, I can click through his completed projects and dream, right? Now back to that gigantic shawl!
There is a lot of debate among some folks on where you're supposed to put your baby to sleep. I've felt a little conflicted about that, but am learning to get over what people thing you should do. Gus has slept with us in our bed or next to the bed for these first 2 and a half months of his life. I usually put him down next to us to start, and then between us after the first feeding. He falls asleep faster when he's in our bed, and at 2 am, that's what I'm most interested in. I don't sleep well with him in our bed, though, especially once he begins to half-wake. He snuggles up to me, and that usually involves flailing arms and repeated kicking. I've taken more than one kick to the boob, and I'm getting tired of waking up to someone pulling my hair. After our adventure to the fabric store this week, I made this:
Baby bed extraordinaire. Now I'm the first to admit that I'm not much of a seamstress, but I think this turned out okay. I bought 3/4 yard of 2" foam, and used some leftover padding for the bumpers. The bumpers aren't actually meant to prevent him from going anywhere, in fact he rolled right over them this morning. They're more for decoration and to slow him down, so he can't get too far too fast.
I think it turned out great, and he seems to like it just fine. It's softer than what he was sleeping on before, and I'm convinced that the reason he likes our bed better in the middle of the night is because our mattress is soft. I put him in it for naps too, so he's getting used to the idea.
It's nap time now, though, so I have to quit posting and start showering - soon he'll be awake!
I know the days where he'll be completely occupied by a ceiling fan are few, so I'm grateful for them now. 
